Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
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