that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
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