you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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