Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
Randomize
