There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
Randomize
