I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
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