oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
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My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
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