did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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