Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
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