you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
Still dying that you shit outside
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
Randomize
