i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Randomize
