He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
Randomize
