Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
Randomize