I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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