Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
You know the @ sign on twitter? i wish there was one of those in real life so that the smokin' hot guy at the bar would know the slutty unbuttoning of my shirt was directed @ him, not @ his friend who looks like Mickey Rourke post-face melting
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
