There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
Randomize
