what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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