i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
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