Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Randomize
