i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
How naked do you want me to be?
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