put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
I came so hard my ears popped.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
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