my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
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