my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
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