I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
no. you can't hotbox the world.
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Randomize
