He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
Randomize
