Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
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