Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
Randomize
