Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
Randomize