Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
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Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
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Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
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