on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
Randomize
