I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
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