its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
Randomize
