Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
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