As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
Randomize
