Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
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