you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
is that a dick in a sweater?
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
