"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
Everything about him screamed your future.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
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