haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
Randomize
