This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
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The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
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My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
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