and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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