just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
foreskin is a definite game changer
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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