well I can't set my house on fire every night
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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