Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize
