I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
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