Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
Randomize
