Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
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