I am puke
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
Randomize
