I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
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