I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Randomize