she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
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