good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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