She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
