I need help removing her.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
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