They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
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