i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
Randomize
