no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
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