I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
Randomize
