What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
Randomize
