the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
