You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
Randomize
