Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
Randomize
