Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
